Why You Should Pay Deeper Attention to Life’s Uncomfortable Moments
Last night, I was having introvert problems.
I love to take walks with my dad around his neighborhood. It’s just the two of us, and we exercise, breathe in the nature around us and have deep conversations.
But it never fails, he always feels the need to stop and talk to every neighbor or stranger he sees, which for me, disrupts the flow of the walk and makes me feel awkward. (The perils of having an introverted nature).
Just as we left the driveway, he saw an elderly couple, long-time neighbors a few houses down. I saw him narrow his sights on them and breathed a frustrated sigh. Here we go again.
And it was a long one. He talked to these neighbors for a good 10–15 minutes, about all of his health issues and their health issues, the frustrations of trying to sell his house and more. Meanwhile, the humid Missouri air was getting stagnant, the flies and mosquitoes buzzing in our ears.
My mind was screaming, Wrap it up!! Time is getting away!! Seriously? You’re changing the topic again? That was the perfect time to segue out of the conversation!
My chest was tight, my shoulders tensed. My entire body and mind resisting the entire interaction.
Then a small voice inside me suggested: Pay attention to what is happening.
I breathed. I stared at the old couple’s faces. Their deep wrinkles. Their level of ease with each other as an old married couple. Their smiles. Their joyful energy as they spoke about their grand-kids’ recent visit.
I looked up at my dad. His unwavering attention to their words. His genuine and authentic friendliness and neighborly care for them. This is my dad, right here, right now. He won’t be around forever.
It’s completely normal and human to become entangled in negative thinking. Our brains have a handy mechanism that keeps us safe from danger by actively seeking out pleasure, and pushing away uncomfortable experiences.
We can be grateful to our brain for keeping us alive, while also recognizing when it’s stealing us away from the moments of our lives. We can softly remind it that every moment has something to teach us, if we choose to allow it.
So if you can, next time you feel uncomfortable, notice it, and instead of mentally running from it, lean in and deepen your attention.
You’ll be surprised at what you’ll find.
